just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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