Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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