good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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