a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
