i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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