just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
