the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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