I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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