Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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