Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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