He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
