i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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