If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
