I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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