Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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