her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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