and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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