why didn't you poke me back
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
