your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
