She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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