glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
