yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
