Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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