So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
