I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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