Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize