Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
