Banned from zoo.
Again?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
