ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
