She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
