I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
