Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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