More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
