genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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