Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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