She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
