I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
