is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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