Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
