I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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