i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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