when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
