I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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