i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
