i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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