Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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