You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
