Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm like, not good at living.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
