There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
