My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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