I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
