This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
