AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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