her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
