Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
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