I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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