I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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