what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
