I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
